One

It was one minute ago he crawled up and snuggled on my lap.

It was one hour ago I heard him talking to himself in bed, after a nice long nap.

It was one day ago he covered me in slobbery kisses while playing tag.

It was one week ago he fell asleep while on a 4-wheeler ride through the snow.

It was one month ago he started insisting on doing "big boy" stuff on his own.

It was one year ago that our lives changed forever... because of his surgery.

How thankful I am for the journey we had to travel and even more thankful that time truly heals all wounds. I feel honored to be his mommy and to have learned from his silent strength.

If you were not here with us on our journey of craniosynostosis you can read more about it here, here and here.

And if you were here for the journey thank you for your love, support, prayers, and words of encouragement. We couldn't have made it without you.

I love my little Beckam and know that this experience was one that not only changed his life forever but many, many others as well.

We love you our little Beckam and are so thankful for you!

*yes, I did rewrite this post. The previous one just did not sit right with me and do the whole situation justice. It was truly an uplifting journey with little moments of heartache not one of complete despair and desperation. We truly felt the arms of the Lord around us the entire time and feel blessed to have had this entire experience.

Seriously...

Can I ever get them both to smile at the same time....

Nope.

Gotta love brotherly "love"

Cade Originals

-Cade was playing a game on Jared's phone. He won. He took the phone to Jared and said, "look dad, I won!!" Jared says, "Wow Cade, that is great!" Cade responds, " I know.... I am just awesome."

-We were playing memory and it was Cades turn. I look at him and say, "now think really hard because I know that you know where some matches are." He looks and me and says, "I know mom, I am just thinking about them in my smart brain."

-We were on our way out the door, a little late, to preschool. I had already gotten Beckam in the car and turned around to see Cade still on the sidewalk. He was drawing something and so I called to him and told him to hurry. Once he made it to the car I asked him what he had been doing. He said, "I was drawing X's on the ground so if anyone wanted to know they would know where to find me." When I made it back home, sure enough, there were X's all the way from the car to our front door.

-Cade has PJ's that have a shark on the shirt. He pulled them out the other day and informed me that he would be wearing them to a sleepover with his cousins because, "they would totally freak out if they saw his shark."

-It was snack time and I asked Cade what he would like to eat. He thought for a moment and then informed me that I would need to guess what he wanted. He said, "I will give you a clue. It is round and sounds like muffin." I replied, "would you like a banana muffin." His eyes light up, he points at me and says, "that is correct!!"

-Cade told me a fib and I said to him, "Cade, we do not lie." He looked at me smugly and said, "But we can trick and I was just tricking."

Check it out!

Now is your chance to win some SUPER cute Christmas cards... honestly, does it get much better!?

My cute sister is having a give-a-way that you do not want to miss.

Check it out... you wont be sorry!

Halloween Surprise

Halloween brought something different to me this year. Among all the screams, guts, ghosts, and monsters I found something unexpected... love. I have always loved my boys... adored them really, however I had also, unknowingly, fallen into a "tasking" mode. I had all my balls up in the air. All my duties, chores, and errands were lined up and checked off by the end of the day. Even though I might have been productive and I still loved my babies at the end of the day, I never realized how much I had missed... until I got sick. This past week I picked up some type of stomach bug. I was so sick, so tired, so dizzy and so consequently I spent a lot of time laying down. Literally being on the boys level allowed to spend more "slow" time with them. Time that I heard their tender words, their funny jokes, their witty comments, their new found words. Time that I saw their smiles, their new found independence, their growing understanding. Time that I felt their slobbery kisses, their big bear hugs, and their snuggles.

I have read many blogs over the past few years and have come across a couple of moms who would gush about how much they love their kids. Something that, honestly, kind of bugged me a bit. I didnt know if it was because I thought they were painting too "rosey" of a picture or if it was because I felt a tad bit guilty, I am not sure. However, something clicked inside of me this halloween season. As I spent this unrushed, uninterrupted time with my boys I started to realize how much fun they were. I found myself having more funny stories rather than frustrations. More laughs than time outs. More yeses than nos. And it was as we were walking the dark halloween streets, begging for candy, it donned on me... I am totally in love with these boys.

Are there still days that they make me crazy... yes.

Are there days that I am ready to turn in my "mom badge"... absolutely.

But am I totally in love with them... without a doubt.

How thankful I am to have realized, even if it was a little late, that their childhood is not coming back so I must enjoy it now. Now is the time to sit down and play games. Now is the time to roll the ball back and forth. Now is the time to listen because I will miss it if I don't take the time. Now is the time to soak them in.

(Bumblebee Transformer)

Halloween was great. Full of candy, candy, candy. I got to take the boys trick or treating. Cade would go as quick as he could from house to house and then stop to have a "candy break." Beckam insisted on walking. It took him FOREVER to get from house to house but he would get SO excited once he made it to the door. He would smile, speak some kind of gibberish, and then wave goodbye. He could make it for about 5 houses until he would just plop down out of sheer exhaustion.

It was a good holiday full of treats for us all.

(Boxing champ)

Average who?

Went to the doctor for the boys yearly check ups.

Cade 4 years

Height- 42 inches (75%) He jumped up and said "yes! I am getting so big!" when the nurse told him how tall he was.

Weight- 39.5 pounds (75%)

Beckam 15 months

Height- 32 inches (50%)

Weight- 25 pounds (50%)

Head circumference- 48cm (50%)

(and finally walking)

All I would like to know is who the heck are they measuring to get their percentiles because Cade is not a 75% and Beckam is definitely not a 50%....

have you held the kid!?

They both had to face the mean nurse with the shots. Beckam was quickly calmed with a sucker afterwards. Cade on the other hand... well he is still nursing his "wounds" when it is convenient (i.e. chore time, bed time, and when there are no friends to play with) I guess milk the sympathy as long as you can, right.

2 Stories and Lots of pictures

The other day Beckam somehow got an apple out of the fridge (Cade claims Beckam did it by himself however I think he was assisted by a certain someone) and went to town. He chowed on that apple as if he had never eaten before and was as protective of it as a mother bear. I could not resist the urge to pull out the camera and capture all the little details of his 15 months.

Just as I was "admiring" his "I can walk but am too stubborn to" legs. (yes, my 15 month old still prefers to crawl. ugh!)

I hear Cade start yelling for me in the house. Since that is a common occurrence in our house I did not feel too urgent about it. Until...

I saw him come tearing out the door saying, "mom, you have got to come quick and see this!" I ask him what is wrong and he starts spewing out details having to do with a hotdog, the microwave, and a big bang.

I couldn't help but smile/shake my head. As I entered the house I immediately smell hotdog. Cade runs to the microwave and says, "see mom, see mom, it blew up!" Apparently he had taken his hunger into his own hands for the 10 minutes I was outside and gotten a hotdog for himself. Minor detail: microwave and not knowing his large numbers. Sure enough... it burst. All over. yum.

Beckam didn't mind though. He had his apple. He got every penny out of it.

This morning we headed out for some mini races at the Rec center.

Needless to say Cade was pumped and took "fire up your engines" rather seriously. As soon as "go" was said he took off and peddled as fast as his little legs would go.

He took first place in a few races and tied a few others. It was really fun to watch him think he was in the Indianapolis 500.

Way to go bud.

There is nothing like being a mom of 2 boys.

Christmas Bells are Ringing...

It is that time of year again...

Time to Enjoy.

Time to Celebrate.

Time to spread Cheer.

Go ahead and check

... Family Photos and Christmas Cards...

off your "to do" list before the season even starts.

Pass the word along

and

let the Celebrations begin!

[don't delay. sessions are limited.]

I am alive

I made it. I am home. My head is chuck full of ideas, dreams, and aspirations. I had a wonderful time but forgot how exhausting it is to learn... lots. Lots to share but for now you can click on over to my photography blog and take a little peek at the beauties I got to work with. I know... I am lucky!!

Stretch

I found myself thinking today... not always the best thing. I have had this little problem since I was young... I get REALLY nervous about anything new. New job, new town, new situations, new school years (my mom seriously thought I was going to end up in home school my 7th grade year I was so nervous... seriously pathetic... I know) anything that I cannot figure out in my mind before hand makes me really anxious. I found those same nerves creeping around inside of me as I thought about my soon departure to Texas on Friday. I am fortunate enough to be attending a photography workshop. I get time to myself, time to learn something new, time to dedicate to something I love. However, it is also something that will be done not only in a completely new arena but done completely by myself... double whammy in my book. I have spent the afternoon giving myself a pep talk, trying to calm my nerves and allow the excitement and anticipation take its place. I was honestly feeling a bit sorry for myself... in a really lame kind of way.

However my perspective was greatly and unexpectedly changed in the most unlikely of places... a baseball diamond specked with 5 and 6, and one 4 year-old boys. We signed Cade up to play coach pitch baseball this season. One requirement, he plays a year up. I have been excited for him to be able to really play but a little nervous (go figure) because he would be by far the youngest and most inexperienced player. As we walked toward the diamond where all the boys had already started practicing Cade says, "mom, they are all way bigger than me!" Not wanting him to worry I said, "no they aren't Cadeo, don't worry about it." He looks up, smiles, says, "oh, okay," and runs out to join them... not a care in the world. I watched him get a little frustrated but only needing a kind reassurance from his dad to pump him back up.

I spent the remainder of practice with knots in my stomach. I didn't want him to feel inferior. I didn't want him to get frustrated. I didn't want him to get hurt. I didn't want him to be scared. I didn't want him to be nervous. I asked Jared several times, "was this such a good idea?" "Are you sure he shouldn't play with the kids his own age this year?" "Are you SURE this is a good idea." Each time he calmly reminded me not to worry. I still bit my fingernails every time it was Cade's turn to hit or catch.

Once practice was over I stood by the dugout and watched my little 4-year-old come in with a smile. I listened as they talked amongst themselves, one said, "I am 6," and another boy responds, "I am 6 too!" and Cade enthusiastically adds, "I am 4!" I smile to see that the only time Cade is the same height as the other boys is when they are sitting and he was standing.

It was in those moments that I realized this is what life is all about, being stretched. This is what I want for my children, to become better, to reach higher, to push harder. It is just sometimes hard for a mommy to sit back and watch it happen. Even though, most of the time, I feel more stress, worry, and heartache for them than they do for themselves. I realized that the worry I felt for myself became so insignificant and paled in comparison for what I felt for my child. However, my child, the one I love so much, the one who could have felt so inferior, the one who really pushed the comfort barriers... just went for it. He didn't look back. He didn't dwell on the nerves. He didn't allow worry to hold him back. He believed in himself and just did it.

So, here I sit not only determined to cherish this lesson but to put it into action. If Cade can do it so can I. This is why we are here... right. To be stretched. To reach higher. To push harder. To become better.

So, wish me luck... I am off to stretch.

Why do I Love Them....

...how can you not...

...seriously?

Imprinted on my Heart

{yes, this is a VERY old picture... but it works}

My heart was imprinted tonight with a memory, an understanding, an insight that will be there throughout the eternities.

I had the honor and opportunity to watch and listen to my sweet husband give our little man a blessing before his first day of school. I was always fortunate enough to receive a fathers blessing before the beginning of a new school year, when confronting a problem, or just when I needed a little extra guidance and direction.

In a Priesthood blessing a servant of the Lord exercises the Priesthood, as moved upon by the Holy Ghost, to call upon the powers of heaven for the benefit of the person being blessed. In a blessing a worthy priesthood holder speaks the words of God, he gives the direction of God, he explains the love of God, he pronounces the blessings of God.

Although I have been a recipient of many of theses blessings, none have left the print on my heart as the one I witnessed tonight. My heart was filled with an overwhelming amount of love as I listened to the sweet and simple counsel given to my son. "Teach the other kids about Jesus by the way that you share." "Be a good friend to all those in your class, even if they look different than you." "You will continue to learn how to become a missionary as you are a good listener, good helper, and good friend."

As the blessing came to an end I watched as Cade looked up at Jared and threw his arms around him. My heart burst and the memory sunk deep into my heart and soul as I watched Jareds silent tears and heard him say, "you are my best buddy. You will always be my best buddy. I am so proud of you." I knew that in a few short years that scene would once again play out in front of my eyes. However, it will not be as a 4-year-old boy leaves to preschool, it will be as a 19-year-old preparing man leaves on his mission. A mission to share the good news of Christ. A mission that will change him from a boy to a man. A mission that will break my heart to send him on but also make me burst with joy. A mission that will share the truth.

As I watched a father and son embrace I was once again reminded of so many levels of love. The love I have for my child. The love my child has for his daddy. The love our Father in Heaven has for each of us.

Although life gets rough, children get exhausting, finances gets overwhelming, time gets shorter and lists get longer there is nothing.... NOTHING greater than knowing that God exists, He knows us, He is watching over us and mostly, He loves us. He loves us. He loves us. What an overwhelming, humbling, and empowering knowledge. To know that no matter how good, how bad, how ugly, in the end what really matters is that God loves us and that He will Always be there... waiting to embrace us. Waiting to say, "You are my buddy. You will always be my buddy. I am so proud of you."

It Seems like Yesterday

It seems like yesterday that Jared and I found out that surprisingly our little family would go from 2 to 3.

It seems like yesterday I was watching my belly bounce up and down as he would roll around and kick.

It seems like yesterday that I was on the phone with Jared telling him that the baby was on his way.

It seems like yesterday that I held him in my arms and knew that his name was going to be Cade... even though I didn't want to admit that Jared had won his choice.

It seems like yesterday that I was scared to death to bring him home from the hospital because I had no idea what to do next.

It seems like yesterday that I gazed into his eyes and sang, "I am a child of God" over and over.

It seems like yesterday that Jared and I spent hours just looking at him. In complete awe that he was ours.

It seems like yesterday that I could wrap him up snugly and just rock him.

However, in reality... it was just yesterday that he turned 4.

Where does the time go?

I love you my sweet Cade. You have changed my life forever.

Thank you.

xoxo

So, I started off tonight thinking I was the coolest mom ever...

Friday night and we decide to spend some quality time with the kiddos. Star Wars: Clone Wars is playing in the outdoor theater and so we assume the boys, or Cade, would be enraptured with the light savers, droids, shooting, and action.

We show up with our favorite blankets, yummy ice cream with all the toppings and all the excitement you can muster out of a 3-year-old... that is A LOT for mine. We grab the last open spot in the back and settle in.

10 minutes into our experience I start to panic and think that the movie is actually Mary Poppins. I figure I would give it a few minutes and see if Cade catches on. Just as that thought finishes he looks at me and, loudly, says, "HEY, this ISNT star wars!" I tell him that I knew that and that I think that I might have made a mistake.

15 minutes into the experience... Phew! Just a VERY LONG preview. Cade smiles, "You DIDNT make a mistake mom!! I am so proud of you!" Movie starts.

1 minute into the movie. Cade is humming, loudly, the Star Wars theme music and cheering with all the other boys in the crowd, "Star Wars is SOOOO cool!"

3 minutes into the movie. Ice cream gone.

5 minutes into the movie. Off to get some popcorn.

6 minutes into the movie. Popcorn spilled.

10 minutes into the movie. More popcorn.... gone.

20 minutes into the movie. Cade thinks that he is a Jedi knight. He is swinging his pretend light saver. Making gun noises, why can boys always make those noises!? and totally into the movie. I really am the coolest.

23 minutes into the movie. Beckam is screaming that he cannot push some ladies stroller around. Okay, its all good. We are outside. We don't have to be quiet the WHOLE time.

Getting irritated looks.

27 minutes into the movie. Jared takes Beckam for a walk.

28 minutes into the movie. Cade cries that he did not get to go with Jared. What was I thinking!!

35 minutes into the movie. All is settled. Cade is once again interested in the movie.

38 minutes into the movie. Cade is bored. I see families starting to pack up and leave. They are the smart ones!

40 minutes into the movie. Cade finds a friend. sweet little girl. they play. they laugh. they entertain each other. Okay, maybe this was an okay idea.

43 minutes into the movie. Another friend finds Cade. nice little boy. they both think they are jedis. they pretend to have light savers. they are not very good at not "accidently" hitting each other.

44 minutes into the movie. They are on the ground wrestling. Seriously, what is it with boys and wrestling!

45 minutes into the movie. he is really going to hurt that boy! Cade is back on the blanket with us.

47 minutes into the movie. They are all playing tag. We ask Cade to be a little bit more quiet. Jared looks at me and asks why our child is SO loud. Hmmmm, have you met his dad?

50 minutes into the movie. We remind Cade to be quiet, for the 10th time.

52 minutes into the movie. Beckam is eating all the popcorn that people have spilled on the ground. Gross!

55 minutes into the movie. Boys are on the ground brawling again.

56 minutes into the movie. Cade is back on the blanket. Has he even watched any of this movie!?

60 minutes into the movie. Tag... again. Cades first friend is now playing with Beckam. she is so sweet. this is such a long movie!

65-80 minutes into the movie. Brawling. blanket. brawling. blanket. brawling. blanket.

83 minutes into the movie. Cade is back on the blanket. somehow his attention was pulled back into the movie. Beckam is trying so hard to go to sleep. Just let this movie end already. do they really expect kids to get this movie!?

90 minutes into the movie. We are all excitedly humming the theme song to Star Wars. Cade says, "that was the best movie ever!"

In the end, was I the coolest mom ever? maybe. maybe not.

Could I have gotten away with turing on a cartoon for 30 minutes and sending them to bed? probably.

Would I be able to laugh at our experience of "going to a movie" if we didn't go. nope.

Was it worth it? maybe.

Will we do it again next week? probably.

Moms really do a lot to be cool for a 3-year-old.

Cade Originals

-Cade decided that he was supposed to be in charge of Beckam. He informed me of this decision and then says, "but here is the plan mom. When he is crying I am NOT in charge but when he is not crying I AM in charge. Okay? That is the plan."

-We were at the store and I got Cade some pool toys and a swimming suit. After our shopping trip Cade looks at me and says, "mom, I am REALLY having fun with you!" Note to self: if you want Cade to have fun you must buy him things.

-Cade loves to wear his life jacket in the pool. I tried to get him to take it off and practice swimming with me the other day. He looked at me and said, "no mom, if I take it off and go in the water I will drain."

-We were in the doctors office waiting for the doctor. Cade pulled up the doctors rolling stool and says, "hello, I am the doctor and I am going to measure Beckam today." I smile and say, "okay doctor." Cade pretends to hold up a measuring tape to Beckam and then says, "yep, just about right. He is 6 feet strong."

- Cade was coloring while I was trying to get Beckam ready for the day. Beck was being particularly wiggly while I was trying to comb his hair and I said, "wow, Beckam, you are making this really hard." Cade quickly turns from his coloring and says, "its okay mom, we can switch spots. I will comb Beckams hair and you can color. Just stay in the lines, okay?"

-Jared headed out the door to work one morning and Cade took off after him, wearing just his underwear, and says, "hey dad, when you come home will you bring Harry, Ben, and Chandler (his cousins) with you?" Jared says, "sure bud, and how about I come home at 4 so we can play too." Cade gets a huge smile on his face and says, "how about 6 dad!?" Jared laughs and says, "sure I will be home by 6." To which Cade jumps up and down and says, "YES! You are the best dad!"

-Cade cracks me up because when he gets excited or is happy about something he will say, "yes!" and sounds just like Napoleon Dynamite. It is hilarious!

-We were at Costco and I was standing in line waiting to get the boys a churro. Cade and Beckam were a few feet from me in the basket. I soon hear Cade yell at the top of his lungs, "Mom, you rock!" while giving me thumbs up.

-He has been in swimming lessons. One afternoon before we left he grabbed his goggles and put them on. He likes them SUPER tight, with his eyes bugging out and his ears smooshed. He runs into the bathroom and stands with his hands on his hips, his head held high, and his shoulders back and says, "Hey, I look cool like Michael Phelps!"

-We were saying family prayers and I said, "we are thankful for Cade and all the joy he brings." I soon hear Cade loudly whispering, "mom.... mom.... moooommm... I am not a droid! Mom.... I am NOT a droid" I bust up laughing and quickly end the prayer. Cade then quickly jumps up, looks at me with a side ways smile, points his finger at me and says, "you are so silly mom, you thought I was a star wars droid!" I told him I said Joy not Droid and he says, "no, you called me a droid, silly!"

Q&A... but mostly Q's

Growing up mom always had all the answers...

-What are we having for dinner.... spaghetti.

-Where is my white shirt.... in the laundry.

-Do I really have to go to school today... absolutely.

-Why am I having such a bad day... check your attitude.

-What can we do this weekend... babysit.

-I need a job.... check out Cracker Barrel... (yes, I did get a job there. Ugh!)

-How do I do this math problem... go ask dad.

-I really don't want to study.... lets make a game out of it. (One of the most hilarious and fun studying experiences ever)

All of the questions, dilemmas, quandaries, and difficulties of youth she always had an answer or solution for. I guess I kind of figured that it came with the territory however, now as a mom I often find myself with only having an "I don't know" answer.

-Last time I checked I lived in the desert, so why is it SO humid... I have no idea.

-What is for dinner... Dinner? I have to make dinner again... wasn't last night enough?

-Mom, where are my shoes.... I don't know, where did you take them off?

-Where in the world is Beckams binki... No clue.

-How do all of these couples take vacations together? How do they find the money, time, and babysitters to go.... tried to figure that one our many times and still... I DON'T know!

-Why do you take your kids out to a "fun" breakfast at IHOP only to hear them cry about not being able to go to Mcdonalds... seriously, no idea! (yes, that DID happen this morning)

-How is it that your kids can drive you crazy and make you laugh all at the same time... not sure, but good thing for them... and me.

-How do you fit a growing family in a 2 bedroom condo... hmmm, tricky, but supposedly others have done it.

-How exactly do you entertain little boys in 110 degree weather.... running out of ideas... and money!

-Why is it that I only end up in pictures without makeup on... once again, don't know.

So, in the end I guess I have come to accept the fact that even as a mom I don't even come close to having all the answers. Apparently mom mom didn't either, but she sure faked it well. I guess that is the beauty of kids being young... they don't know that you are clueless.

What are you clueless about... hopefully I am not the only one!

And any answers are welcome too...

Happy "B"elated Birthday

I had great plans of having a fantastic shoot of this little guy eating cake.  I have thought about and planned it for over a year now.  However, although I made preparations things did not pan out as planned.  I had wanted to wait to post his "12 month" milestones until I had the pictures but at this rate... he will be 15 before I get it done.  So, will I admit that second kids totally get gypped... absolutely!

Beckam is such a little love.  He is the tender child that I have been waiting for.  He brings so much peace and contentment to our home.  Beckam has been good to soften Cade up and Cade has been good to strengthen Beckam. 

So here it is Beck-

12 Months

-You love to flirt.  You will talk, squeal, smile, and do whatever it takes to get people to notice and fall in love with you.

-You love to pull things out of drawers and cupboards.  You also love to push the button on the water cooler and watch it ALL come spilling out.  Thank heavens for child proof locks!

-You finally started crawling the right way... a few days before your birthday.

-You love to sleep... still.  However, you have to have your blanket to give up easily or else you fight it to the bitter end.

-You hate being in your car seat for an extended period of time.

-You are finally starting to eat better.  You went through a phase when you would only eat oatmeal, yogurt, and fruit.  You have now expanded your palate... thank heavens!

-You have a piercing, ear shattering, stop the world scream.  You sound like a 12-year-old girl.  But hey, when you have an almost 4-year-old brother you have to have something to keep you alive!

- Your giggle is contagious.

-You love to snuggle.  You will snuggle with anyone and everyone that is willing.  

-At church you love to sprawl out in the middle of the hall and just lay there and jabber.  

- You absolutely love the water and honestly think that you can swim.  It is a little scary how willing you are to crawl to the edge, turn around, and plop yourself in.  If you could spend the whole day in the pool you would.

-You always head for the stairs.  You love to go up and down and are really good about turning around and doing it the right way.

-You love to give kisses.  You will plant one right on our mouth (usually with yours open and slobbery) and then you will say "kisses" in a high voice.

-You always have comments on your hair... it seems to be your trade mark.  Whenever you see the spray bottle coming your way, to have your hair combed, you hold your breath and cover your face, even if it isn't your turn to have your hair done.

-You love your brother.  He can always make you happy and you love to follow him around.

-You are starting to get some more teeth which equals misery for you.

-You will pull yourself to standing on everything.  You have taken a few steps in the pool and like to hold onto strollers to try to walk but you will not stand on your own.

-You love anything that you can feed to yourself.  Watermelon is one of your favorites, however you usually opt to eat the rind first.

-You are starting to show a little sassy streak.  It is kind of sad but kind of funny at the same time.  You are definitely finding your own independence.

-At the doctor you 

measured 31 inches

weighed 23.2 pounds

measured 47 cm head circumference

-You love to try and drink the water at the sprinkler park.  You will sit in the middle where all the water runs to and try to lick it off the ground.  Gross!

-You are a sensitive soul and can have your feelings hurt easily.  However, you can quickly turn the tears into laughter and hugs.

-You can turn anyones bad, grumpy mood around by a simple hug, especially your daddy.

-Your favorite toy are our cell phones.  You love to eat them, slobber on them, and yell into them.

-You wear size 18-24 months.

-You have buns of steal and big fat bear paws for feet.

-You will always grab for peoples noses first.  

-You race to the door when daddy gets home from work.  If he does not hug you first your feelings get hurt until he picks you up for hugs. 

-You are so ticklish....every where.

We love you our little Beckam and are SO thankful to have you in our family.  You have made us so happy and we are so proud of you.  Happy Birthday little guy!

These 3 made my parents Grandparents

and they couldn't be happier.  My little sister had her cute baby 7 weeks ago and confirmed the fact that we all already knew... my mom and dad would be the best grandparents ever.  My dad was in Utah when we went to visit and he took Cade and Beckam out for "junior alpha kid day" and I am not sure who had more fun, the boys or him.  Cade could not get enough of him.  They ate doughnuts together, they fixed the sprinkler together, they told stories together, they went to home depot together, they ate crown burger together.  I never had to wonder where Cade was.  

And as you can also see... we only do boys... go figure!  My mom and dad had to wait for their last 2 kids to have boys but now have been bombarded by testosterone!

Speaking of grandparents... 

I also got to spend time with My grandparents.  I honestly lived a charmed childhood complete with amazing grandparents.  I spent many memorable moments with my grandma and grandpa and still look forward to the time that I get to see them.  They are so wonderful and such good examples to me.  I love you two!

We are back... for now

I have been so out of touch with the world these past few weeks.  I spent 4 days at girls camp with no phone service and then went straight to California where the service was patchy and I had no computer.  So not only do I have laundry, cleaning, and phone calls to catch up on but all of the "important" computer stuff too.

So here is a quick recap before we head off to Utah for the 4th.

We had a fantastic time at the beach with Jareds family.  Minus the 4 hour drive turning into about 7 hours with a screaming baby added into the mix the trip went relatively smoothly.

We played in the sand. 

Jared built a rather cool sand castle, that did not get photographed because the tide got to it first... bummer!  He was really proud of it though!

We ate sand... well some of us did anyway.

Beckam preferred to eat the sand rather than build with it...  He especially loved the rocks and seaweed... Gross!  I love that you can see sand on his nose and around his mouth in this picture.  That was basically him all week.

We rode rides at Disney.  

Beckam loved the merry-go-round and Cade braved Space Mountain.  I do not think he will EVER go on a roller coaster again but I was really proud of him and had a fun time watching him be brave.

We ate cake.  

We celebrated Beckams birthday on the morning we left because we were going, going, going every other moment there.  He loved his cake and had no fear digging right in.

We took naps.  

Cade played so hard that he actually fell asleep on the beach several times.  We are still working on catching up on sleep but definitely made the most of every moment.

We played in the water.

I am pretty sure that Cade was wet more than he was dry.  He did not care what he had on, as soon as he saw the water he was in it.  The only thing he hated was having sand in his flip flops so needless to say he was barefoot most of the trip.

We had plain old fun.

We played games, we ate food, we walked the beach and the pier, we shopped, we laughed, we played jokes, we talked, we told stories, we enjoyed the beach,  and the relaxation but most of all we enjoyed each other.

There are so many other stories and moments to share but as of now it is 1am and I am exhausted.  So, for now this will have to do.  

Thank you to our family for making this week so memorable and exciting.  We cannot wait until next year when we get to do it again!

We love you all!

To be a Lady

I honestly and truly should be in bed right now... I have to be up in 5 hours.  However, here I sit typing away, go figure.  Not much exciting is happening around here.  We are definitely in the throws of summer complete with traveling, summer camps, swimming lessons and the such.  I feel like life is one great big juggling act at the moment however I am so thankful that I have my sweet family there to help keep everything up in the air and working smoothly.

I cannot believe that Beckam will be 1 in a matter of days... baffling!  Time goes by so quickly however at the same time it feels like it stands so still.

I have been working on a workshop that I will be teaching at girls camp this week.  They asked me to teach about self presentation.  I have allowed this topic to swirl around in my head and the thing that has become so apparent to me is how easy it is to allow clothes, attitudes, language, etc. to mask who we are and how we feel inside.  How easy it is to get caught up in what is "in style," "popular," "normal," that we forget to hold on and stay true to who we really are on the inside, to allow US to shine through and not what others say should be presented.  

In Proverbs it teaches that the price of a virtuous woman is far above rubies (proverbs 31:10) and then it continues on to say, "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come" (Proverbs 31:25).  What a beautiful and inspiring teaching.  

Strength and honor. 

 I want to be strong and honorable.  Not only strong and honorable but a strong and honorable Woman.  What an honor and a gift it is to be a woman.  

We have the opportunity to partake of the many pleasures of the world.  The Lord has given us many comforts, leisures, and perks of living in the modern day.  Things that are fun and good to partake in.  However, along with partaking it is in our hands to not allow ourselves to BE taken but to clothe ourselves in strength and honor.  To avoid the distractions and still Present ourselves in a way that is becoming.  In our dress, in our words, in our actions and then we will "rejoice in time to come."

What a blessing and an honor it is to know that God lives.  To know that I am a daughter of Him.  To know that it is a blessing to be a woman.  To know that I can be strong and honorable at all times, in all things, and in all places. 

What a joy.

Nothing like Rexburg

I have been a bit MIA lately... and it is only the beginning!  I had the amazing opportunity to go spend some time with my cute sister, her sweet husband, and my adorable, love able, kissable, little nephew, Maddux.  Beckam and I flew to Rexburg and spent a fun, rainy, full of reminiscing weekend with them.  Love you guys!

I will be home for a few days and then off to girls camp and then to California with Jared's family and then Utah for the 4th.  Quite hectic but I am looking forward to it.  Hopefully I will have more pictures and stories to post soon with the upcoming of my baby Beckam's first birthday, Cade's first talk in primary, Jared's journey with P90X and my attempt to figure out my new camera!  Lots of firsts and lots of fun.  So until then... enjoy this cute family that I get to call mine!

5 Years

Yesterday marked our 5 year wedding anniversary.  

This week has been an interesting week for me.  The lesson that I have been preparing for young women's this weekend has been on temple marriage and I was also asked to be in a fashion show for Allyse's Bridal this Saturday, so needless to say I have had "marriage" on the mind.  

I have gone back and forth trying to decide how to acknowledge this wonderful event in my life.  I thought I could just share our story... but I am sure everyone that reads this blog already knows it.

Then I thought I could make a list of what I have learned being married for 5 years... but I just did a list.

Then I thought that I could list all the reasons I love my husband... but I did that already too.

As Jared and I sat last night and looked at our wedding album and read the notes that were written to us by those in attendance of our sealing I knew what I wanted to do.  Honestly, that day was a blur, swirled with so much excitement, nerves (by some more than others), butterflies, kisses, and just out right love that I don't remember many of the words that were said, only the feelings.  However, lucky for me my sweet sister-in-law had everyone write down what they remembered about the sealing.  The sealer gave us some amazing advice that has always echoed in my mind and filled my heart with warm feelings.  It is on every wedding anniversary that I get to once again connect those constant feelings with the familiar council that seems to fade through the year.  

Our sealer counseled us with these wise words...

-Only shout if the house is burning and leave the pouting to the little ones.  Don't shout or pout.

-Don't ever go to bed angry.

-It doesn't matter who is right only what is right.

-Don't shame or blame.

-You don't always get your way but you still get your say.

How blessed I feel to have been married in Gods holy temple and to know that I get to be with my sweet husband and our precious babies not only now but for forever.  What an honor it is to be a wife and a mother.  

I love you my sweet Jared and thank you for living your life in a way that allowed us to go to the temple together and seal our family for time and all eternity.  

Happy Anniversary.

I love you.

"Surprise"

Was what I heard when I turned around this morning and saw Cade standing in front of me.  He continued with, "I got dressed all my by self, (all by myself), mom!"  Not only did he get dressed all by himself but he also bathed himself, from start to finish.  Thus using a whole bottle of shampoo because the "bubbles are so fun" according to him.  However, despite the bubbles I was really proud of my little guy for being so independent.  My favorite part....

 

...his one inside out, one right side out, red and blue striped socks with his shorts.  You have to love that preschoolers just wear what they feel cool in, not what others tell them is cool.  Love it!

30 Years Ago Today...

The world changed forever.  

These two little guys were placed in their parents arms and I am sure the doctors wished them luck.

As they grew they played together, they fought together(each other actually),

 they laughed together, they got into mischief together...

They chased girls together, they broke hearts together,

they had hearts broken and healed together, they learned the ins and outs of life together...

They goofed around together, they tried to pick up on girls together,

they worked together, they supported and bagged on each other...

But in the end...

they changed the world together.

I feel so blessed to have these two guys in my life.  When Jared and I got married the sealer said to me, before going into the sealing room, "you marry twins and it is like getting 2 husbands.  You need double the food, you clean up double the mess but you also get double the laughs."  I Have not been disappointed.

You two are amazing guys that I am blessed to call "my family."  Growing up I  always wanted a big brother and little did I know that I would get one that would be a carbon copy of my husband.  Love you Josh.

Jared is my greatest hero, my best friend, and my rock.  I am daily amazed at who he is and who he is continually becoming.  I love you, my sweet.

Happy birthday to 2 of the most special guys in my life.

Glad you have each other.

Even more glad I have you.

Beckam: 11 months

It really is that time again.  My baby keeps getting bigger and bigger as time continues to go faster and faster.  There are so many things we want to remember about you as your personality continues to burst with goodness and peace.

- You love everything with a light on it.  You seem to find all the little corners that offer that excitement.  The night lights, the DSL cable modem, the power strip light, the light that creeps in from under a door.  You always find them and are amazed by it for a good amount of time.

-You still army crawl but only push off with one foot.  Daddy calls it the "wounded solider crawl"  It gets you to where you need to be and you are happy.

-You clap for everyone and are so proud of yourself when you do.

-You love to splash in the pool and try to stand on the steps.

-You are getting a little bit better at not freaking out when people leave the room.... kind of.

-You love to look at your reflection in the stainless steel garbage can.  You will try and touch and talk to the baby looking back at you.

-You talk and babble all day long.  Your favorite words- dada and Ba

-You love to snuggle and will snuggle with anyone who is willing to hold you.

-You sleep until usually 8:30 every morning but it isn't unusual for mommy to wake you up at 9:00am either.

-You will always snuggle up and let mommy hug you when you wake up.

-You are so silly about your food and we usually have to disguise your food with yogurt or cottage cheese.

-You absolutely love to try and drink from a cup.  You get giddy and giggle when you see a cup coming your way.

-Your favorite toy at the moment is any one of Cades sippy cups.  You don't get super excited about yours but you love Cades even though you don't know how to drink out of them.

-You have 7 teeth.

You can pull yourself to standing when you are in the tubby and it scares mommy to death.

-To sit yourself up you do the splits and walk your hands up.  You are one of the most flexible babies I have ever met.

-You absolutely love fruit.

- When we lay you down to sleep you will pull your blanket over your head and put your legs straight up in the air.

-You are the biggest smile bug I have ever met. 

We love you big guy!

Cade Originals

-April 2009-

- We were driving in the car and Cade says, "mom, I am 6." I laughed and said, "no you aren't silly, you are 3." And he replies, "yeah, I know, but I was born to be 6."

-Jared came home from basketball and was sweaty and smelly. Cade ran up to give him a hug and stopped dead in his tracks and says, "whoa, bro...you stink!"

-I was feeding Beckam breakfast and had to put down the bowl and get something out of the sink.  Once I turned back to give him another bite Cade was sitting next to him, shoving the spoon in Beckams mouth and then says, "Hey, check it out, I am helping!"

-After getting dressed for church on Sunday Cade ran into the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror, rubs his shirt and says, "Wow, I am looking sharp!"

-For easter the boys got some "sports eggs."  They were little footballs, baseballs, and basketballs that come apart into 2 pieces.  Cade has been playing with them for weeks.  The other day he was in the tub with one of the baseballs and took it apart.  He held both pieces up to his chest and says, "Hey look mom!  I have chest-i-sas like you!"

-We pulled into the Costco parking lot and as soon as I turned off the car Cade unbuckled his seat belt and said, "lets rock and roll, baby!"

-Cade is ALWAYS singing "I like to movie it, move it" from Madagasgar.  Usually at the top of his lungs in the middle of the store.  He usually gets smiles... usually.

-We had music on the other day and I hear Cade call me from the other room.  Once I got to where he was he says, "hey, check out these moves!"  and starts to dance.  It was great.

--I love you my little Cadeo.  You always keep me smiling and laughing.  You are truly one of a kind!