Halloween Surprise

Halloween brought something different to me this year. Among all the screams, guts, ghosts, and monsters I found something unexpected... love. I have always loved my boys... adored them really, however I had also, unknowingly, fallen into a "tasking" mode. I had all my balls up in the air. All my duties, chores, and errands were lined up and checked off by the end of the day. Even though I might have been productive and I still loved my babies at the end of the day, I never realized how much I had missed... until I got sick. This past week I picked up some type of stomach bug. I was so sick, so tired, so dizzy and so consequently I spent a lot of time laying down. Literally being on the boys level allowed to spend more "slow" time with them. Time that I heard their tender words, their funny jokes, their witty comments, their new found words. Time that I saw their smiles, their new found independence, their growing understanding. Time that I felt their slobbery kisses, their big bear hugs, and their snuggles.

I have read many blogs over the past few years and have come across a couple of moms who would gush about how much they love their kids. Something that, honestly, kind of bugged me a bit. I didnt know if it was because I thought they were painting too "rosey" of a picture or if it was because I felt a tad bit guilty, I am not sure. However, something clicked inside of me this halloween season. As I spent this unrushed, uninterrupted time with my boys I started to realize how much fun they were. I found myself having more funny stories rather than frustrations. More laughs than time outs. More yeses than nos. And it was as we were walking the dark halloween streets, begging for candy, it donned on me... I am totally in love with these boys.

Are there still days that they make me crazy... yes.

Are there days that I am ready to turn in my "mom badge"... absolutely.

But am I totally in love with them... without a doubt.

How thankful I am to have realized, even if it was a little late, that their childhood is not coming back so I must enjoy it now. Now is the time to sit down and play games. Now is the time to roll the ball back and forth. Now is the time to listen because I will miss it if I don't take the time. Now is the time to soak them in.

(Bumblebee Transformer)

Halloween was great. Full of candy, candy, candy. I got to take the boys trick or treating. Cade would go as quick as he could from house to house and then stop to have a "candy break." Beckam insisted on walking. It took him FOREVER to get from house to house but he would get SO excited once he made it to the door. He would smile, speak some kind of gibberish, and then wave goodbye. He could make it for about 5 houses until he would just plop down out of sheer exhaustion.

It was a good holiday full of treats for us all.

(Boxing champ)