::Gasp::

I know... can you believe it! A post. Major accomplishment, I tell ya!

So much has happened that I figured I should quickly put at least some of it down before the little bambina gets here.

These two cute munckins started preschool. I went back and forth with the decision of sending Cade to kindergarten or another year of preschool and I am SO glad we opted for one last year of preschool. He has grown and progressed so well and I am so proud of him!

Cade and his cousin Amelia are almost exactly one year apart and are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies. I was a little nervous to see how it would play out with them being in the same class but I must say I couldn't be any more happy. They love having each other and I love that they will for the rest of their school careers.

This little man also celebrated his 5th birthday (2 months ago, ::blush::). He was so excited for his birthday and still asks when it is his birthday again. He was once again so excited for candles so we started the morning off with panCAKES and candles. He felt special and was sweet about his overflowing excitement.

We also went to the firehouse to have a "party" for him. We see the firemen at the gym every morning and Cade thinks they are so cool so I figured the firehouse would be the perfect place to celebrate his special day. The firefighters were so good to the kids and the kids hung on every word they said. {Thank you firemen for making seat belts no longer a battle every time we get in the car}

The guys even let Jared put on all of their gear. He felt like hot stuff. Becks on the other hand wasn't too sure what to think about it all so he stood back and just watched and listened to his daddy sound like Darth Vader.

And yes... I was there too :)

I know that I have been MIA lately and honestly cannot promise I will do much better in the coming weeks... I will try though.

Although the posts have been sparse, I have not been MIA from my busy life.

I had the amazing opportunity to venture out out to Ohio to spend some time with some amazing families. I am so blessed to have "family" all over the place.

It was strangely difficult to go back to Ohio, alone.

To have my parents gone.

Nobody at the airport to pick me up.

My bedroom no longer my bedroom.

My house no longer my house.

It was all strange and incredibly emotional. However, a necessary experience.

How thankful, though, I am for those sweet angels in my life that extended their love, homes, and family and allowed me to pull it together again.

It was such a joy to see everyone again and look forward to heading back east again. Love you all!

I also decided, as if I don't already have my hands full, to tap into my crafty side. My sister and I got together and decided that we needed to "make something." After multiple trips to the fabric store we came up with lots of fun flowers/bows. We started off with multiple sizes and I have recently ventured into making teeny tiny ones for the little bub (not pictured)... they are so cute and I cannot wait to get them on her!

Alli and I will soon be opening an etsy shop and I will also be hosting a Christmas Boutique in a few weeks with lots of fun venders and items just in time to get rocking on Christmas shopping. So if you would like to participate or if you are dying over the flowers (not going to lie, love wearing them in my hair, on my shirt, and also my shoes. Can you tell I am so getting into the girl vibe!) let me know. We would love to have you all!

So, there you have it.

No wise advice.

No motherly insights.

No jokes.

No tears.

Just busy.

Busy but good.

Cant wait for this little girl to make her way here. She is getting bigger and bigger and I keep praying she will finish cooking a little early. We are ready to snuggle her!

So until next time (keeping my fingers crossed next time is less than a month away), Happy Harvest!

Stretch

I found myself thinking today... not always the best thing. I have had this little problem since I was young... I get REALLY nervous about anything new. New job, new town, new situations, new school years (my mom seriously thought I was going to end up in home school my 7th grade year I was so nervous... seriously pathetic... I know) anything that I cannot figure out in my mind before hand makes me really anxious. I found those same nerves creeping around inside of me as I thought about my soon departure to Texas on Friday. I am fortunate enough to be attending a photography workshop. I get time to myself, time to learn something new, time to dedicate to something I love. However, it is also something that will be done not only in a completely new arena but done completely by myself... double whammy in my book. I have spent the afternoon giving myself a pep talk, trying to calm my nerves and allow the excitement and anticipation take its place. I was honestly feeling a bit sorry for myself... in a really lame kind of way.

However my perspective was greatly and unexpectedly changed in the most unlikely of places... a baseball diamond specked with 5 and 6, and one 4 year-old boys. We signed Cade up to play coach pitch baseball this season. One requirement, he plays a year up. I have been excited for him to be able to really play but a little nervous (go figure) because he would be by far the youngest and most inexperienced player. As we walked toward the diamond where all the boys had already started practicing Cade says, "mom, they are all way bigger than me!" Not wanting him to worry I said, "no they aren't Cadeo, don't worry about it." He looks up, smiles, says, "oh, okay," and runs out to join them... not a care in the world. I watched him get a little frustrated but only needing a kind reassurance from his dad to pump him back up.

I spent the remainder of practice with knots in my stomach. I didn't want him to feel inferior. I didn't want him to get frustrated. I didn't want him to get hurt. I didn't want him to be scared. I didn't want him to be nervous. I asked Jared several times, "was this such a good idea?" "Are you sure he shouldn't play with the kids his own age this year?" "Are you SURE this is a good idea." Each time he calmly reminded me not to worry. I still bit my fingernails every time it was Cade's turn to hit or catch.

Once practice was over I stood by the dugout and watched my little 4-year-old come in with a smile. I listened as they talked amongst themselves, one said, "I am 6," and another boy responds, "I am 6 too!" and Cade enthusiastically adds, "I am 4!" I smile to see that the only time Cade is the same height as the other boys is when they are sitting and he was standing.

It was in those moments that I realized this is what life is all about, being stretched. This is what I want for my children, to become better, to reach higher, to push harder. It is just sometimes hard for a mommy to sit back and watch it happen. Even though, most of the time, I feel more stress, worry, and heartache for them than they do for themselves. I realized that the worry I felt for myself became so insignificant and paled in comparison for what I felt for my child. However, my child, the one I love so much, the one who could have felt so inferior, the one who really pushed the comfort barriers... just went for it. He didn't look back. He didn't dwell on the nerves. He didn't allow worry to hold him back. He believed in himself and just did it.

So, here I sit not only determined to cherish this lesson but to put it into action. If Cade can do it so can I. This is why we are here... right. To be stretched. To reach higher. To push harder. To become better.

So, wish me luck... I am off to stretch.

Q&A... but mostly Q's

Growing up mom always had all the answers...

-What are we having for dinner.... spaghetti.

-Where is my white shirt.... in the laundry.

-Do I really have to go to school today... absolutely.

-Why am I having such a bad day... check your attitude.

-What can we do this weekend... babysit.

-I need a job.... check out Cracker Barrel... (yes, I did get a job there. Ugh!)

-How do I do this math problem... go ask dad.

-I really don't want to study.... lets make a game out of it. (One of the most hilarious and fun studying experiences ever)

All of the questions, dilemmas, quandaries, and difficulties of youth she always had an answer or solution for. I guess I kind of figured that it came with the territory however, now as a mom I often find myself with only having an "I don't know" answer.

-Last time I checked I lived in the desert, so why is it SO humid... I have no idea.

-What is for dinner... Dinner? I have to make dinner again... wasn't last night enough?

-Mom, where are my shoes.... I don't know, where did you take them off?

-Where in the world is Beckams binki... No clue.

-How do all of these couples take vacations together? How do they find the money, time, and babysitters to go.... tried to figure that one our many times and still... I DON'T know!

-Why do you take your kids out to a "fun" breakfast at IHOP only to hear them cry about not being able to go to Mcdonalds... seriously, no idea! (yes, that DID happen this morning)

-How is it that your kids can drive you crazy and make you laugh all at the same time... not sure, but good thing for them... and me.

-How do you fit a growing family in a 2 bedroom condo... hmmm, tricky, but supposedly others have done it.

-How exactly do you entertain little boys in 110 degree weather.... running out of ideas... and money!

-Why is it that I only end up in pictures without makeup on... once again, don't know.

So, in the end I guess I have come to accept the fact that even as a mom I don't even come close to having all the answers. Apparently mom mom didn't either, but she sure faked it well. I guess that is the beauty of kids being young... they don't know that you are clueless.

What are you clueless about... hopefully I am not the only one!

And any answers are welcome too...