Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Wishes

(just pretend you got this in the mail)
Merry Christmas to you all.  We love you!

*Card created by my wonderful, talented, amazing sister. Love ya Alls!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Prove It!

Cades favorite movie during Christmas is Mickeys Christmas Carol. One of the segments is about Goofy trying to help his son Max believe in Santa. During one of their conversations Max says, "prove it!" Of course, out of all the things that Cade could pick up on in the 60 minute movie he decides that "prove it" is the coolest. So, needless to say, I have been trying for last few weeks to find a phrase to replace "prove it" but have yet to do so. So, I am going to take the words from Cades mouth and "prove it," prove that we too have snow...

Cade and I were outside playing on Wednesday afternoon when the tiny snow flakes started to fly. I was so excited because I haven't seen snow for a long time and couldn't wait to share that experience with Cade. Thinking that it would only last a few short minutes I laughed, I played, I was giddy... until it didn't stop. I enjoyed it as long as we could stay inside but we had a good amount of driving to do in the afternoon that ended up taking about 5 times longer because us las vegasites just don't know what to do with the snow.

After Cades nap he woke to about 2 inches of snow and couldn't wait to get outside. After much convincing that he had to wear a coat he finally got all bundled but this as far as he made it...the front porch. As soon as he had made a footprint right outside the door he came running and said, "wow mom, it is too chilly."

I tried to get him to venture out further but no amount of coaxing could get him out. However, once he saw Jared he no longer needed coaxing and jumped right in. They rolled, they threw, they ran through the snow as it continued to come down, they lived the life of a little boy.

This is as far as their snowman got because all of a sudden Cade realized that he could no longer feel his hands and had a total melt down.

So we spent a great deal of time soaking.

This morning we woke up to a winter wonderland and once again Cade couldn't wait to throw some snow balls. I kept reminding him that he got cold and his fingers hurt last time but he didn't care...he wanted out. I didn't have much hope for him staying out but was pleasantly surprised when he decided, after throwing a few snow balls, that he really wanted to play hide and go seek. He kept picking behind his "snow man" as his hiding place and would squish his body up to the snow and put his face right on top.

Once hide and seek had ended he insisted on kicking all the snow off of our neighbors steps so that "she wouldn't fall down and get big, huge owies." It took him about 30 minutes but he got it all done and was proud of himself.

We came in with cold hands, red noses, and goosebumps but even better we came in with priceless memories and were able to "prove" that it can snow in the desert too.

Beckam-- Month 6

-Love to squeal in delight and can do so VERY loudly.
-Blow spit bubbles all the time.
-Only get angry when it is past nap/bed time and you want to go to sleep. You are kind of a bed snob.
-Love to watch Cade and usually laugh at him.
-Can almost hold your own bottle but don't understand that you have to keep it in your mouth to get the milk and will pull it out repeatedly.
-Like to try and suck your thumb and drink your bottle at the same time.
-Like baby food but it takes you a few bites to warm up to a new taste.
-So ticklish on your arms and shoulders.
-Can sit by yourself for a seconds before tipping yourself to the right side...always the right side.
-Love to bounce and bounce and bounce.
-You love to chew on your fingers...they are always in your mouth.
-You have a death grip and the sharpest fingernails ever, even after they have been clipped.
-Have visited the doctor 9 times and stayed in the hospital for 7 days in your little life time.
-Had your stitches taken out and the incision looks amazing!
-You smile with your eyes.
-You are so observant and love to soak in everything that is going on around you.
-Weigh 19lbs and measure 26.5 inches.
-You take 3 two hour naps a day.
-You just melt into anyone that is holding you. You are such a snuggle bug!
-We love you our little Beckam and are so proud of you!

Cade's Comments-- October

-Cade Originals--
October 2008
- "Mommy...you are pretty. I love you so much.
-(He thinks that when we drive that we are racing all the cars around us. One day a car passed us on the freeway.) I hear from the back seat, "Mom! That car passed us... What's the Heck!"
- He had been talking about having a turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch and then jumped to talking about eating graham crackers to which I said, "Cade, I thought you were going to have a turkey and cheese?" and he replied "Mom, we are not talking about turkey and cheese we are talking about graham crackers... focus, mom, focus."
- He was playing with his dinosaur vitamin before he ate it. The vitamin was on the table and Cade bent down to eye level and says, "dionosaur, I love you but I am going to eat you..."
- I was trying to get him to go down for a nap and he kept coming out of his room. Finally I looked at him, frustrated, and said, "Cade, go to BED." He looks at me, tilts his head to the side and says, "Mom, we are friends and friends don't want their friends to go to sleep."

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Moment of Truth

It is amazing how time can fade all memories. It has only been a week since our little Beckam was handed to the nurse and walked back to the operating room but it feels like a lifetime ago. On Saturday, December 6 we packed up and headed for the hospital at 6 a.m. It was amazing how calm Jared and I were knowing that our little one would soon face surgery, the Lord truly calmed our nerves and softened our hearts.

Once we reached the hospital we headed up to check in at same day surgery and to begin our wait. I was so nervous that Beckam would cry and cry as we were waiting for him to go into the OR because he couldn't eat anything the night before or the morning of. However, once again our littlest angel surprised me and was as happy as could be. He smiled, he laughed, he played, he cooed and then when he was done he snuggled right up with Jared and his blanket and went to sleep. The nurses were so amazed with him and kept saying, "he is such a happy baby!" which made for one happy mommy.

Once he had been weighed, measured, tested, and checked out by the doctor the time came. This was by far the most emotional time for Jared as he had to hand his sleeping little baby over to the nurse and watch as she carried him away. I was fine up until this point almost to the point that the nurses were confused why the daddy was so emotional but the mom was calm and composed. However, once Beckam was no longer in sight the tears flowed easily. Jared and I headed to the waiting room only to see my visiting teacher waiting for her daughter to have her tonsils out. It was a nice distraction to chat with someone about something other than what was happening only a few rooms away. Surgery was supposed to start at 7:30 however they had a difficult time getting an ART line in because of all of his chub so we were a little surprised to see the nurse enter the waiting room, with clippings of Beckam hair in hand, at 9:30 to inform us that surgery had just started. We continued to wait and wait and wait until we saw the doctor emerge from the OR doors at 12:30 p.m.

Dr. Peoples was all smiles and very pleased with how the surgery had gone. He told us that it was better than he could have ever asked for. Jared was so happy that he no longer had to worry about the anaesthesia that he jumped up from his chair, hugged the doctor and said "thank you!" The doctor was so surprised but then looked at me and said, "well, if he is going to hug me I am going to hug you" and gave me a huge hug. Jared and I couldn't wait to see Beckam so we raced to the PICU.

I was very anxious to see my little one but also so very apprehensive of what I would see. Once we finally reached the pediatric floor Jared instantly saw Beckam and we went running. The nurses were still getting him all set up and so we couldn't give him anything to eat or snuggle him, all we could do was talk to him and try to comfort him through touch and words. I was extremely amazed that he looked so much better than I expected but also much more fragile than I had considered. But the thing that amazed us both was how much better his head looked already. It was amazing!

As day one came and went we quickly became acquainted with machines, cords, beeps and nurses. The staff was fantastic and I felt so comforted to know that they loved Beckam and wanted him to not hurt as much as I did. We also learned to love Pedialyte because it was the only thing he could keep down until a few days ago. It was oddly comforting to know that I could at least comfort his tummy.

We also had several visitors, fun gifts, and well wishes. My mom offered to stay with Beckam the first night since Jared and I had been at the hospital all day long. I remember leaving the hospital feeling so encouraged, so hopeful that recovery would be a breeze, and so thankful for such wonderful family, nurses, and the love of the Lord.

When I reached the hospital the next morning I was once again overwhelmed with emotion, my little one did NOT look so great any more. The swelling had dramatically increased, his coloring had paled, and I could literally feel his pain just standing next to him. His poor little eyes had swollen completely shut and would stay that way for 2 days. My heart broke for him and I continued to talk and talk to him because I didn't want him to be scared. His neck was completely swollen along with the rest of his body and his incision seemed to take up most of his head. However, he once again amazed me with his patience, his peace, and his strength to fight.

Day 3 went much like the day before however he started to improve after what seemed to be a turn for the worse. Although he was still so fragile, so sore, and so swollen he still held onto his sweet personality. They soon took off his bandage and covered his incision with a little hat made out of the underwear they give you after you have a baby so that he wouldn't rub or pull his stitches. It was too cute even though he looked a bit like a little girl with a big bow. On Monday night, the night Jared stayed at the hospital, I got a call at 3:00 a.m. saying, "guess who is looking at me with one eye!" I was ecstatic that Beckam could finally see and by the time I saw him a few hours later he had both eyes open and had improved more than I could have ever imagined was possible.

I was so nervous once the doctor said we could take him home on on Wednesday because he still could not keep food down and still seemed so fragile and sore. However, once a silent pleading prayer was offered and I was able to get him up and moving a little bit more I found so much comfort in the opportunity to leave the hospital.

We had a few difficult days when we got home because of his appetite, soreness, and Cade getting sick with the croup but all in all it has been an amazingly positive experience. It is amazing how the Lord teaches us to lean on Him, to put things in His hands, and to have faith. We have truly been surrounded by angels that have uplifted and comforted us all in our individual times of need.

(Beckam with Grandma)
And here we are 8 days later. Playing, bouncing, smiling, eating, and just as happy as can be. I love this little bug, he just makes my heart and our home so peaceful and happy.

He is going to have one wicked scar but the more that I look at it the cooler it gets. He is our little baseball, our champ and our peaceful fighter. We are very blessed to have 2 incredible boys in our home!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It is FINALLY time...

It is amazing to me how your prayers as a mom never change. At this time last year all I could do was pray for the little baby growing inside of me. Pray that he would be healthy. Pray that he would be strong. Pray that he would know how much I loved him. Pray that he would be safe. Pray that he would develop properly. And now here I sit, with that same little baby who is now in my arms and pray the same prayer. Pray that he will be healthy. Pray that he will be strong. Pray that he will know how so very much I love him. Pray that he will be safe. Pray that he will develop/recover properly...
It is amazing what these little ones can do to your heart. I love my sweet little Beckam to the very core of my being and although I know that he will be okay and feel the arms of the Savior wrapped tightly around me my heart still aches for what the near future holds for him. The time for surgery has finally gotten here and hopefully will pass quickly. He is scheduled for a 7:30am surgery on Saturday. Thank you to all of those, known and not known, who have so willingly opened your hearts to Beckam and included him in your thoughts and prayers. We have truly benefited from your strength and goodness. Hopefully next time you hear from me this will all be a story from the past, a lesson already learned, a journey that is nearing the end. Thank you again...