Friday, July 27, 2007

The Journey

Thank you everyone who have been so sweet to me. Over the past couple of days I have quickly remembered that life just isn't THAT hard. It is so funny to me how easily we can get caught up in the thick of thin things and quickly become overwhelmed, I am the queen of that! So, to all of you reading at this moment I can quickly say that I am MUCH better, work is MUCH better (I am actually kind of liking it) and everything has fallen into place.
You can feel free to stop reading at this moment because although this is a blog and is posted for all to see I too use this as my journal. So, if you really want all the insights to my soul, keep reading, if not you can click on by and come back another day.
I am so thankful for my life, my experiences, my family, my friends. It has been so interesting to take a deep look into myself and into my past lessons. Growing up I was always so afraid, afraid of being wrong, afraid of not doing something right, afraid that I would fail, just afraid. It saddens me to now see how long I allowed fear to guide my actions. I always knew that Heavenly Father was there and that I was not alone. I always knew that I needed to lean on Him and everything would be okay. I always knew that what my parents taught me about the Lord was true. I always knew that, but that was the problem, my mind knew but my heart hadn't gotten there yet. I know that I have come a long way on my journey but I also see the path continuing on in front of me. But this is what I have allowed my mind and my heart to agree upon along the way...
1. I know that I have the decision as to whether I am going to be afraid or not. Things can be overwhelming, things can be difficult, things can be hard but being afraid only makes them worse. It is a lot of work sometimes to chase the fear away and it takes a great deal of faith to turn the fear over to our Father in Heaven but that is all for a reason. We need to learn how to Surrender our will over to our Heavenly Father how to give away the anxiety, how to throw out the doubts, how to allow faith to fill the hole that fear has created. It is so liberating and empowering when you realize that something has "hurt" but you were able to talk with the Lord about it and that you do not have to carry it alone.
2. I have learned that once you try to do it all on your own, you never have enough. Enough time, enough energy, enough desire. But once you are able to allow the Lord to help, the possibilities are endless. Everything was not meant to be done all at once or all by yourself. There is no joy in doing that way. One day at a time.
3. I have learned time and time again that there are so many angles that have been placed in each of our lives. These angels are there to buoy us up and comfort us in times of need. These angels are the ones that not only listen to the spirit but follow his promptings. Thanks again Emily!
4. I have learned that if we pray for courage that Lord provides opportunities for us be courageous. If we pray for humility, the Lord provides opportunities for us to be humble. If we pray for patience, the Lord provides opportunities for us to be patient. The Lord isn't going to just "hand over" godly traits and characteristics. He is going to teach us what they are, how they can help us, and how to use them. He is going to provide opportunities for us to develop characteristics not just open them up and use them. I think that many times we think that when we start doing the "right" thing or start really trying to become "better" that for some reason it gets harder, as if we are being "punished" or "held back." Honestly, I think that it DOES get harder but for a different reason. It gets harder because we are learning something new. We are stretching our old paradigms and broadening our horizons. We are learning how to be like God and that isn't EASY. But it does get easier the longer we practice and the more diligent we are.
I am so thankful for my journey and honestly look forward to the path that is continuing on. Thank you to everyone who has taught me, loved me, helped me, and allowed me to stumble, fall, get back up and try again because that is how we really learn who we are and how much God loves us.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Learning Curve

I have once again, been an awful blogger. Life has seemed to spin a little out of control this past week. I have for some crazy reason decided that I am not busy enough so I would add one more thing to my plate. I have started working a little bit for a guy in my ward. I can do it all from home and just involves a "little" phone and internet work and can be done while Cade is sleeping. Well, I have never hit the learning curve has sharply as I have seemed to this time. Yesterday was day 2 but the first day on my own and by the end of the day I sat on the floor and cried with Cade because I was so stressed. Well, I tossed and turned all night long trying to come up with how I can be more efficient with the things I do and hope that today will be a better day. So, to all my blogging fans out there, all 1 of you, I promise I haven't forgotten how to blog and life is still interesting enough to share but for now laundry, cleaning, packing (again), and mothering calls my attention.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Family Vacation

We are back! This summer has been full of adventures and vacations and now I finally have a minute to sit down and recap. We headed to Salt Lake on Saturday, July 7 at 5 a.m. We had the opportunity of flying with a "buddy pass" which made traveling cheaper but a little more nerve racking because we were stand-by and not guaranteed a seat. Luckily we made it without too much trouble and were blessed with a little one that was very patient. We then got up early Sunday morning and drove up to our cabin in Jackson hole, Wyoming. Once again we were so lucky to have a little one that was so patient.

Four Generations

We relaxed, ate, played games and had a wonderful time at the cabin. The boys went white water rafting down the sake and the girls and Cade went shopping in Jackson. Jared tried everything he could think of to try and take Cade down the river with him but to no avail, it was really endearing to watch his mind try and find a way though.

Cade had a blast, then again, how can you not when all the attention is directed toward you. It helps to be the only grandchild at times. He ran and ran and ran until he crashed. I loved to watch him and knew that he had had a good day when he came in covered in dirt, sticky watermelon, drops of diet coke and licorice, and only wearing a diaper. Life just doesn't get better.

He also LOVED the hose. He watered the grass, the flowers, the trees, himself, and anyone else that was within 20 feet. He was so mesmerized by how it worked and couldn't quite understand why he got a face full of water when he looked inside.

Another cabin pastime is motorcycles. I grew up loving to ride the motorcycles and looked forward to it every time we went to the cabin. So it was such a nostalgic moment when my dad brought them out and Cade crawled on. He had a wonderful time riding with Jared and Papa and I had a good time reliving my childhood as well.
On Wednesday night we packed up and headed down to Park City where my moms side of the family was having our Chrisitansen family reunion. We had a great time staying at the Marriott with all the aunts, uncles, and cousins. We went hiking, swimming, and boating. We ate and talked, ate and talked, and ate and talked. It was beautiful in Park City and the shopping wasn't bad either. We had a blast on the boat with the tube, water skis and wake boards. I was rather proud of myself, I stepped way out of my comfort zone and decided to give wake boarding a shot. And much to my surprise and I think everyone else's as well, I got right up my first time. I was so excited and had such a good time. Pictures of that monuments even will come later.

Cade loved to share with his Uma (that is what he calls my mom) and he loved when Uma shared with him. He would share his half eaten cookie and then ask for a taste of "Umas Juice" or Diet Coke. He was a happy little camper with a tummy full of junk food.

On Friday we all got dressed up and had family pictures taken. It was a little crazy because it was at 7 pm and Cade was nearing bed time but I am glad we did it. We all wore Sunday best black and white. I put Cade in a little tux and he looked too dang cute despite the fact I couldn't keep him all tucked in. My little brother Ryan also looked dang handsome. He is such a cute kid and is such a tender soul. I couldn't help sharing, and yes he is holding my purse and camera bag, he is such a help. A few people were giving him a hard time for holding a purse but he didn't care he just kept a hold of it because he said he would. What a doll.
All in all the vacation went well. We were planning on flying out on Sunday but were bumped off the flight, once again the buddy pass thing. So, since Jared had to be back for work we rented a car and drove back Sunday night. We had a wonderful time with all of our family and feel so blessed to have them! We love you and thanks for everything!

Friday, July 6, 2007

A Quick Update

I have been an awful blogger lately!! It has been so busy around here and we are getting ready to leave on vacation yet again. It has been so out of control that I am not even going to answer the "pond" question this week ::gasp:: Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for all the liberties that we have but I just do not have the time to sit down and do them justice, sorry, but I have been thinking about it.
A small update on what is happening around here. We have been spending a good deal of time with our friends the Nelson's. We love them to pieces and have an great time with them. The other day we went to Mt. Charleston for a BBQ and Cade had his very first ring pop. As you can see by the pictures, he loved it! I thought for sure it would end up in the dirt within the first 5 minutes but he actually ate it all the way down to the plastic, he never ceases to amaze me. We had a blast and it didn't hurt that it was about 20 degrees cooler....nice!
We also have added a new addition to our home....a new hat and flip flops. Cade and I went to the mall so he could run around and play without the 110 degree weather. Well, I had every intention of just playing but ended up leaving with a hat and 2 pair of flip flops, I am a sucker for things for Cade.

Other exciting news in our family. We are building a home! We are so so so excited about this opportunity and love that it is not too far from where we live now. It is a great new master planned community that is going to be amazing and we love the house too. It will not be done until around February but that will give us enough time to find some renters for our condo and get our things together. You can go here to see the community info and here to see the house floor plans (its the 2041)! Well, we are off until next Sunday. Have a great week and there will be more when we return.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

A Moment to Remember

My little guy has been a bit of a turkey this past week and I am afraid is going through the "terrible 2's." I swore that would NEVER happen to my sweet little boy. I secretly thought that I would be able to teach him better than that. But to no avail, he has some how learned how to hit things other than a baseball, kick things than his soccer ball and that teeth do not always need to be used for eating food. We have been working and working this past week on being soft and being obedient. So much so that I find myself sick of saying, "we only hit balls," "we only bite food," " we only spit when brushing our teeth," "we only kick soccer balls." ::sigh:: Once upon a time I had the perfect child. The one that loved little babies, loved to share, never hit, didn't even know the word "no," and only had a couple teeth and therefore the thought of biting never even crossed his mind. Don't get me wrong, I love my little Cade and all in all he is a good boy but I thought I would take a moment and reminisce about the "good ole' days" of babyhood.
2 weeks old ---------------------------- 2 months old
Cade was so little when we brought him home. I remember being shocked at how tiny he was in the car seat. For some reason I just figured he would look like a "baby" in the car seat and not an infant. Typical "new mom" naivety I guess. I also remember love putting shoes on him, for some reason I guess it made me feel like he looked like a little man. My favorite shoes were little blue tennis shoes (picture on the left).

4 months old
Cade loved to look at himself in the mirror. He would sit for hours and just giggle at himself. He was always so amazed that there was someone staring back at him. I loved to watch him and found myself cleaning the mirrors of finger prints and slobber kisses constantly. He also loved his teddy bear. I was so excited to get the bear for him and remember worrying that it would be too big, which it was for a while. But now I am amazed that he is the one that looks gigantic next to it, I thought that day would never come.

5 months old
Cade was Jared's "little circus baby." I honestly think that Jared's favorite part of being a daddy is showing off his child. The poor kid started training from moment one but in all reality, LOVED it!! They would do superman, a balancing trick (above), flips, and tosses. Moms would stress out and cover their eyes while dads would say, "woah, that is awesome. Your wife really lets you do that with him?" I think that I feel the worst for all of the people we were around. The first thing Jared would say to people was, "have you seen Cades tricks?" and before they could answer (the answer usually being yes) he would say, "well let me show you" and would start right in with the acrobatics. My boys, too funny, but they both loved the attention.

7 months old
Cade loved his hat. I always wanted a boy that loved to wear hats and so had purchased this hat before he was even born. You can only imagine my excitement when he actually wanted to wear it and would keep it on. I loved it and put it on him everywhere we went partly because I thought it was cute and partly because it took him FOREVER to get any hair. We had that trusty old hat until we made our first trip to Disneyland. I was so sad to discover that we had lost it as we were leaving the park to go home. We searched all of the lost and founds and left our information so it could be sent to us if found. It was never found and Cade has never kept a hat on since. Bummer!

7 months old
As you can see Cade has always loved to be naked and I have always loved to dress him up. The strange things that bring up happiness.
8 months old---------------------------10 months old
I loved the little Mickey Mouse ears that we got for him in Disneyland. He played with them for months. I would try and put them on him and he would pull them off to chew on the ears. It was a fun little game we would play over and over. He has also always loved the tubby. He loves to splash and play and would every day until he turned into a raisin if I would let him. Now a days he takes 2 tubs a day partly because he gets so dirty and partly for the entertainment value.
13 months
I love this little man. He is such a good boy and really does have a tender heart. He is so much like his daddy and has such a passion for life and people. He loves to love, he loves to wrestle, he loves to play sports, he loves to be loud, but most of all he loves life. I have felt so honored to watch him grow and learn. It has been such a journey to walk next to this little one as he has discovered life and learning, fun and excitement, disappointment and frustration, love and tenderness. Growing up can be hard some times but there is so much joy, if we, mostly I, can just stop and enjoy the smiles, giggles, and even the messes, oh what a joy and excitement motherhood can be.