It is amazing how time can fade all memories. It has only been a week since our little Beckam was handed to the nurse and walked back to the operating room but it feels like a lifetime ago. On Saturday, December 6 we packed up and headed for the hospital at 6 a.m. It was amazing how calm Jared and I were knowing that our little one would soon face surgery, the Lord truly calmed our nerves and softened our hearts.
Once we reached the hospital we headed up to check in at same day surgery and to begin our wait. I was so nervous that Beckam would cry and cry as we were waiting for him to go into the OR because he couldn't eat anything the night before or the morning of. However, once again our littlest angel surprised me and was as happy as could be. He smiled, he laughed, he played, he cooed and then when he was done he snuggled right up with Jared and his blanket and went to sleep. The nurses were so amazed with him and kept saying, "he is such a happy baby!" which made for one happy mommy.
Once he had been weighed, measured, tested, and checked out by the doctor the time came. This was by far the most emotional time for Jared as he had to hand his sleeping little baby over to the nurse and watch as she carried him away. I was fine up until this point almost to the point that the nurses were confused why the daddy was so emotional but the mom was calm and composed. However, once Beckam was no longer in sight the tears flowed easily. Jared and I headed to the waiting room only to see my visiting teacher waiting for her daughter to have her tonsils out. It was a nice distraction to chat with someone about something other than what was happening only a few rooms away. Surgery was supposed to start at 7:30 however they had a difficult time getting an ART line in because of all of his chub so we were a little surprised to see the nurse enter the waiting room, with clippings of Beckam hair in hand, at 9:30 to inform us that surgery had just started. We continued to wait and wait and wait until we saw the doctor emerge from the OR doors at 12:30 p.m.
Dr. Peoples was all smiles and very pleased with how the surgery had gone. He told us that it was better than he could have ever asked for. Jared was so happy that he no longer had to worry about the anaesthesia that he jumped up from his chair, hugged the doctor and said "thank you!" The doctor was so surprised but then looked at me and said, "well, if he is going to hug me I am going to hug you" and gave me a huge hug. Jared and I couldn't wait to see Beckam so we raced to the PICU.
I was very anxious to see my little one but also so very apprehensive of what I would see. Once we finally reached the pediatric floor Jared instantly saw Beckam and we went running. The nurses were still getting him all set up and so we couldn't give him anything to eat or snuggle him, all we could do was talk to him and try to comfort him through touch and words. I was extremely amazed that he looked so much better than I expected but also much more fragile than I had considered. But the thing that amazed us both was how much better his head looked already. It was amazing!
As day one came and went we quickly became acquainted with machines, cords, beeps and nurses. The staff was fantastic and I felt so comforted to know that they loved Beckam and wanted him to not hurt as much as I did. We also learned to love Pedialyte because it was the only thing he could keep down until a few days ago. It was oddly comforting to know that I could at least comfort his tummy.
We also had several visitors, fun gifts, and well wishes. My mom offered to stay with Beckam the first night since Jared and I had been at the hospital all day long. I remember leaving the hospital feeling so encouraged, so hopeful that recovery would be a breeze, and so thankful for such wonderful family, nurses, and the love of the Lord.
When I reached the hospital the next morning I was once again overwhelmed with emotion, my little one did NOT look so great any more. The swelling had dramatically increased, his coloring had paled, and I could literally feel his pain just standing next to him. His poor little eyes had swollen completely shut and would stay that way for 2 days. My heart broke for him and I continued to talk and talk to him because I didn't want him to be scared. His neck was completely swollen along with the rest of his body and his incision seemed to take up most of his head. However, he once again amazed me with his patience, his peace, and his strength to fight.
Day 3 went much like the day before however he started to improve after what seemed to be a turn for the worse. Although he was still so fragile, so sore, and so swollen he still held onto his sweet personality. They soon took off his bandage and covered his incision with a little hat made out of the underwear they give you after you have a baby so that he wouldn't rub or pull his stitches. It was too cute even though he looked a bit like a little girl with a big bow. On Monday night, the night Jared stayed at the hospital, I got a call at 3:00 a.m. saying, "guess who is looking at me with one eye!" I was ecstatic that Beckam could finally see and by the time I saw him a few hours later he had both eyes open and had improved more than I could have ever imagined was possible.
I was so nervous once the doctor said we could take him home on on Wednesday because he still could not keep food down and still seemed so fragile and sore. However, once a silent pleading prayer was offered and I was able to get him up and moving a little bit more I found so much comfort in the opportunity to leave the hospital.
We had a few difficult days when we got home because of his appetite, soreness, and Cade getting sick with the croup but all in all it has been an amazingly positive experience. It is amazing how the Lord teaches us to lean on Him, to put things in His hands, and to have faith. We have truly been surrounded by angels that have uplifted and comforted us all in our individual times of need.
(Beckam with Grandma)
And here we are 8 days later. Playing, bouncing, smiling, eating, and just as happy as can be. I love this little bug, he just makes my heart and our home so peaceful and happy.
He is going to have one wicked scar but the more that I look at it the cooler it gets. He is our little baseball, our champ and our peaceful fighter. We are very blessed to have 2 incredible boys in our home!
19 comments:
I have been keeping up with you guys and what you've been going through and can I just say congratulations that the surgery went well and your little guy is doing so great! Your family has been in my prayers!
Oh my goodness Lacey, you are amazing. I'm so impressed with your strength and faith. I am so glad everything went well, he is such a darling little guy!
I knew what happened, and I'm still crying over here. I am grateful to know everything went alright. What a blessing it is that he was even able to have this surgery. His recovery was amazing. He is such a little trooper. You are so patient and full of faith. Thank you for your example...
Oh man, I can barely see the computer screen through the tears, what a journey you have been on! Even though Beckem is doing much better and recovering now, it is still so hard to read what it must of been like to hand your baby over and then see him after that surgery. As much pain as I have gone through in my own life, I would take it any day over having my children experience it...I'm so happy this surgery is over and you can get back to "normal life". Beckem had everyone praying for him,and what a blessing for you to have felt all those prayers!! We love you guys :)
We have been anxious to hear how everything went and glad it went well and it is now over with!(No more surgeries right?) What a little trooper he is and that is a pretty cool scar! He is a special little guy. I'm also impressed with the amount of strength and faith you have. What an amazing mommy you are! We love you guys!
This post especially brought tears to my eyes. I'm so happy to hear that the surgery was such a success and that he is on the road to recovery. You have such an amazing strength and faith, Lacey. I admire you. I really really do.
Lacey. You are an amazing family. Thank you for sharing this journey with us. I'm so glad that little Beckam is doing so well and that you are all happy about how the surgery turned out. Prayers definitely are answered!
wow, what a cool scar! he's darling and i'm so glad everything went well. i've been waiting for a post from you!
So glad to hear that everything is okay. What a cutie!
Seriously! Everytime I read your blog I just know I'm going to cry!! So glad that things went the way they were supposed too and you are all back home! If you have to have a scar that really is an awesome one! All of his friends will think he is the coolest!!
Hooray! I am so happy things went so well. I've been thinking about you all week. Isn't it so scary to have your baby in the hospital. the feeling of not being able to really do anything for them is so hard! When Anne was in the hospital it took me over a week to get used to the beeps and sounds of the monitors. Any time any thing would make a noise my heart would stop. But isn't it also amazing to sort of have a glimps of eternity and to feel the Lords arms wrapped around you! Thank you sharing!
I am so glad that everything went well! What a miracle. I know a little bit about the anxiety you have been facing. It is the hardest thing to have no control over the well being of someone you love so much. It sure teaches us to rely on the Lord and know he has a plan for us. Prayers have been answered! You are amazing! Keep the Faith. Love ya-Lis
Lacey thank you for sharing the most personal parts of your family and journey. You are a strength to me! I am so happy that all wet well and that you are able to see the good in every situation. I love you!
Lace and Jared, I've been thinking a lot about you guys this week! I'm so glad the surgery is over and so glad that Heavenly Father blessed Beckam and his mom and dad with peace through such a scary thing. You guys are ALL tough and such fighters. WAY TO GO, BECKAM!
I have been thinking about you guys lots lately and was so happy and overwhelmed to read this positive post! I am so happy that all went well!! However, with your faith, courage and your strength it is of no surprise to me! He is so darling and what a little trooper! So happy for you guys! Love ya girl!
I have been thinking about you guys all weekend! I'm so glad things went so well. You never cease to amaze me with your amazingness! *B
Lacey and Jared, Im so happy for your little family that everything went smoothly. You are truely and inspiration to me and the faith that you have in the Lord. I know the Lord has blessed you. Thanks for including us in your life.
Once again you are so amazing! I am so glad that everything went well and that little Becks is doing great!! We love you guys so much and hope you have a great Christmas!!
Hi Lacey – my name is Stephanie and I have a 3 week old who has sagittal craniosynostosis. A friend of mine forwarded me your blog when she saw your little guy’s pictures. Thanks for sharing. I am nervous and scared for my baby and I am glad to hear your baby is doing well, it helps bring a little optimism to our life too! If you have any advice to give to a mom who is just getting started, I would love to hear it - my email is s_easton@comcast.net. I hope Beckam continues to do well.
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