Beckam: 5 months...just a little late...

• You can smile and cry at the same time.
• You have started eating "big baby food" (as Cade would say) and Love sweet potatoes.
• Love to be thrown up in the air.
• You can go from a screeching scream to a dead sleep in a matter of moments.
• Love to talk and talk.
• Watch everything that Cade does, especially when he is eating.
• You can roll onto your tummy but will only do it when prodded by others.
• Love to put everything in your mouth.
• Fall asleep as soon as you get snuggled up the right way with your blue blanket.
• Love to hold onto moms hands and stand up.
• Always laugh when you hear someone say "dadadada"
• Bed time is 7:00pm and you wake up around 8:00am
• Starting to hate your car seat.
• Wearing 6-12 month clothes.
• Have the cutest chunky legs ever!
• Nicknames: Littlest love, Big B, Becks, Baby B
• Your favorite toy is your car seat bug.
• Love to splash in the tubby.
• You are starting to get more opinionated and don't hesitate to let us know what you want.
• You will give loves and kisses to anyone that will take them.
• Startle easier than anyone I have ever met.
• The calm and peaceful one of the family.

"I Hope They Call Me on A Mission,,,"

( Halloween 2007)
On Sunday we were getting ready for church and talking about my brother who just received his mission call to Santa Rosa, California. Cade has always loved the missionaries and quickly jumped into the conversation and says,
C: "I love missionaries, mom"
Me: "I know. I do too. Will you be a missionary one day?"
C: "But mom... I am a missionary now."
It made me smile that he has such a tender heart and such a desire to serve a mission. I thought that Cade had a concept of what a missionary was since we have had many dinners with them, see them at church every Sunday, and talk about them often. However, we then had this conversation and I changed my mind:
We were diving to the store and saw a group of missionaries
Me: "Look, Cade, the missionaries"
C: "I want to go on a mission mom."
Me: "I know, sweetie, one day you will get to go. Do you know what missionaries do?"
C: "Yep, they give people food and then cover it up for them."
Me: "Hmmm, really? When did you see the missionaries do that?"
C: "At church mom. They give us bread and then cover it up."
Me: ::laughing to myself:: "No, sweetheart, those are the young men. Missionaries go to different places, knock on peoples doors and teach them about Jesus. Did you know that there are people that don't know who Jesus is?"
C: "Ohhh. Well, I want to go on a mission but what will I say."
Me: "You will get to teach people about how much Jesus loves them. Should mommy and daddy teach you how to be a missionary so when you get big you will know how?"
C: "Yeah mom, that is a great idea!"
Me: "Sounds good. Where do you think that you will go on your mission?"
C: "To Harry and Ben's house (his cousins that live down the street)
Me: ::laughing:: "Sounds good to me."
C: "And mom, Ryan (my brother) is going to be my missionary friend (companion) too, and we will ride bikes, okay."
Straight from the mouths of babes.
I love this little boy!

Need I Say More...?

I think it is time to find someone else to take pictures of because Cade has had it. Anyone interested...?

On the other hand...

Aren't these the most Kissable lips and cheeks you have ever seen?

Halloween Recap

This Halloween this year was a success. We started off the season with plans of having a BYU player and a football for trick or treaters. However, as time went on and stupid me mentioned to Cade that his cousins were going to be knights we no longer had a little boy dying to be a BYU player. Despite the fact that I had his whole costume bought and put together I caved and decided that it would be no fun to fight him on the subject every time he had to put on his costume. Which, side note, it is unbelievable how many times a 3-year-old needs to put on their costume. My mom and I went to Target and I fought against the idea of buying a store produced costume. Although, I am not one to love Halloween I hate the idea of putting my kids in something cheesy. However, she convinced me that he would love it and that would make the costume "cute" in the end. From the second that I walked through the door with his "ninja knight" costume or "inja knight" as he called it he truly thought he was a Ninja Knight. He would have slept, ate, bathed, and played in the costume and would still be in it if I would have let him. So, in the end.... I thought it was cute.

Every morning for 2 weeks he put the costume on, went outside, and practiced his kicks, punches and best of all... his ninja eyes. How he came up with that I have NO idea but it cracked me up every time.

We had a trunk or treat with our ward on Monday. After making the rounds and getting tons of candy he sat in our trunk and insisted on handing out all of his own candy to the kids, despite the fact that we had a whole bowl left. It made me smile to watch him find so much happiness in giving away something that was his. I was also so amazed that every child said "thank you" to Cade. So needless to say, we came home with a bucket full of regular size candy bars because Cade had given away all of his trick or treat candy.

Poor little Beckam doesnt have any costume pictures by himself. I was planning on making him a football but then realized that he would be just out of the hospital so I decided to scratch that idea. Even though plans changed I totally spaced the idea that he would need a costume. So on Halloween I pulled Cades old costume out right before we left to trick or treat and didn't have the chance to take his pictures. I am hoping to get around to that as soon as I find the face paint, for his whiskers and nose, that I lost some where. Even though the poor thing was sweating to death he was sure one of the cutest lions I have ever seen.

Cade made out like a bandit. Half way through the neighborhood he told me that he was "all done with candy." I told him that he didn't have to go up to the doors any more however, Jared quickly jumped in and told him to get up to the door and get some candy. By the end of the night Cade had to carry his bucket with both hands so he didn't drop it. We went back to the house and the kids dug in and ate and ate and ate! I am a believer in getting it all over with as soon as possible so I don't have to be the candy police. So, needless to say, we are candy free in our house now and finally coming down from a sugar high.

Our Current Situation

What a journey we have been on these past few weeks. What once was a curse is now such a comfort and a blessing. The insurance is still in the process of deciding if surgery is necessary and is now requiring us to get another CT scan. We have felt so much comfort as we have walked along this path and have once again felt strongly the need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. We have always asked ourselves, "what is best for Beckam?" and have such a desire to give him every opportunity to succeed throughout his life. Up to this point we have felt the need for surgery and have taken the steps along this path and followed the promptings that we have had. I do believe that we have learned invaluable lessons and have grown spiritually, as individuals, as a family, in our marriage, and also provided opportunity for others the go to their knees in prayer in behalf of our little one and there find a deeper relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.

We know that the insurance issues and Beckams fever at the time of the planned surgery was for a purpose and feel that we have walked to the edge of the light and are now asking, "what direction now?" We have decided to have a family fast on Sunday on behalf of Beckam so that we, as his mom and dad, will know which direction to take. We would like to invite any who would like to participate. We love you all and thank you so much for all of you love, thoughts, help, and prayers. Thank you for traveling this journey with us, you have truly helped lighten our burdens.

Waiting...Waiting...Waiting...

I sit here looking at the perfect little face of my baby Beckam. Something I have planned on doing at this very moment for the past month however, I expected to and prepared myself to see bumps, bruises and swelling. Not something I necessarily looked forward to seeing but something that meant we had made progress, something that meant surgery was over, something that meant he was safe and out of the anesthesia, something that meant the waiting was over. However, at this moment, none of that has happened and we are still....waiting...
Beckam had his 4month shots on Monday, something the doctor wanted to have done before entering the operating room, and started to run a fever of about 1o1. He held his fever, but did better with Tylenol, and so we went to the pediatrician on Thursday to have him checked out since he was starting to add symptoms of a cold. The pediatrician gave us the go ahead thinking his fever would be gone by Saturday and not being too alarmed by the cold symptoms. So, off we went to the hospital to have all his blood work, EKG, and other pokes and prods done to prepare for surgery. Once this process was on its way another wave of reality hit and the emotion began to deepen within me. I held on desperately to the thought that this would be over in only a few short days.
Friday afternoon rolled around and after a few conversations with the insurance company about billing issues, the doctor was billing me more than he should, I thought we had it all figured out. Beckam still was not feeling 100% but the pediatrician's "go ahead" comforted me. I got a call from the neurosurgeons office at 5:oopm saying that the insurance company still had not approved the surgery and that it was possible that they would have it approved by Monday and might be able to retroactive its status but if they didn't then we would be responsible for the bill, most likely close to $80,000 to $90,000. I was extremely frustrated because they had a very long time to get this approved but started to process late (they said so themselves). Once the insurance information came to surface we started to pay closer attention to Beckams fever and the fact that it still was not gone and ask ourselves if this was really the right time. After a call to the pediatrician, a conversation with the neurosurgeon, many tears, and a pleading prayer we felt like we needed to wait.
So here we are....still waiting....but calm. I know that the Lord is watching closely over us. Is He trying to teach us...yes. Is He tying to protect us...maybe. Is He aware of us and our situation....absolutely. Is it easy...not at all! Is my heart breaking...more than ever before. Do I want this to be over...So so so much! But will I wait and listen... as long as it takes!
We will know more on Monday so we will keep you updated. Thank you so much for every ones love, patience, prayers, and thoughts. We love you all!

Lock your Daughters Up...

Chandler, my cute nephew, went out with me a few days ago and let me play around with my camera...

He is too stinking cute and such a sweetheart...

He is one of the best teenagers I have ever met and makes me so excited for Cade to grow up and be 13...

He is a great little football player...

And did I mention a total cutie!!