This little Miss has been such a joy in our lives. She is the best little baby and makes life so easy. She has been sleeping and eating well and loves, loves, loves to be cuddled.
It was so much fun to photograph her. I have been thinking about what I wanted to do with her pictures for a long time so my mom and I wasted no time "dressing her up" with bow, tutus and blankets for her first photo shoot.
The rocking chair she is in in the above picture was actually the rocking chair my mom and dad bought to rock me in as a baby. It made my heart happy to see my little baby girl in it and to have already spent hours rocking her in the same chair.
This little girl thing is just too too much fun. She is such a joy and I feel so blessed to have started this new journey.
As I sit here and write this post I still, a week later, cannot believe that I am holding my little baby girl... MY little baby girl! I have spent many hours in this very spot and felt her move and wiggle, wondered about who she was, what she would look like. And now here we are, as if it has always been, but now she is in my arms... and she is perfect.
I had a gut feeling, mothers intuition or maybe just a hope, that she would make her debut a little earlier than her brothers so I wasn't too surprised when I woke up in the wee hours of Monday morning with contractions and knew the time had come... 20 days early.
I noticed my first contraction at 2:30 am but tried to go back to sleep knowing that it would be a big day, however, once 3:30 am came I decided to get up and shower. I quickly noticed that my contractions were now rather regular, about 3-4 minutes apart, and knew it was time to spread the news. I woke Jared who in turn wanted to call anyone and everyone to let them know but settled for waking my mom, who luckily had made it to Las Vegas the night before, and calling his mom.
We headed to the hospital and checked in at 5:30 am. As I waited for the nurse to come check me I was worried they would send me back home because my contractions had slowed way down. However, the nurse was just as shocked as I was to find that I was dilated to a 5 and immediately admitted us with the caution to grab the anesthesiologist at the earliest opening because it was a busy day and as soon as my water broke the baby would be here.
I was so excited and so amazed that I had progressed as far as I had already. They got me all signed in, hooked up, and sent the epidural my way despite the fact my contractions seemed to have stopped. As soon as the anesthesiologist left the room they broke my water and I was quickly dilated to a 7. We were ready to get the show on the road. They called the doctor to update him and he asked if they could hold me off until noon, 4 hours away. The nurse just laughed and said there was no way we were going to make it that long.
I was so excited and couldn't believe how easily things had moved along. Not much pain, everyone I loved was there, I was having a baby... it just couldn't get better. The nurse continued to check me and was slightly concerned that the baby's hand was on top of her head but felt that she would move it back before delivery. However, the hours started to stretch on, dilation drastically slowed down, and baby's heart beat was varying, things were not looking so good. My sweet nurse continued to assure me that she would do all she could to get the baby to move her hand and that the doctor had confidence that it shouldn't be a problem. I was exhausted and a little frustrated with myself but hopeful.
After being in the hospital and dilated to an 8 for about 7 hours my nurse took her lunch break and left me in the hands of another nurse for 30 minutes. The other nurse quickly came to check in on me and very abruptly asked me if my original nurse had "informed me of the likelihood of a c-section." I told her that she had mentioned it but that we were working to get the baby to move her hand. The nurse told me I didn't have a chance, that I was going to harm the baby and possibly myself. She gave me the rundown of how the procedure would go and told me that I had an 80% chance of a c-section so I needed to prepare myself. I was so taken back, so crushed, so scared, I didn't know what to do with myself other than to try not to cry. The nurse turned to leave the room and Jared rushed over to hug me, which is when the tears started to flow. The nurse quickly turned around and told me to "stop crying or your nurse will be upset with me for making you cry."
My heart was broken. I did not want to have a c-section. I love delivering babies. I didn't want to miss out on that bonding time as soon as the baby was delivered. I didn't want to have to repeat the process the next time I delivered. I was scared and crushed.
My sweet nurse, Krystal, soon came back from lunch and told me she had heard what had happened and not to worry. We still had time left and the baby at least had turned her hand down and not facing up. I had been promised in a blessing before we left for the hospital that there "would be no accidents" and that was all I could hold onto. I spent the next several hours pleading with my Father in Heaven but promising to do whatever it took to keep my little one safe.
The time finally came and I knew I needed to push even though her little hand was still on top of her head. While we waited for the doctor to arrive I was able to go through a few rounds of practice pushes but was quickly stopped and told to wait for the doctor. Doctor Foster arrived soon thereafter and after one round of pushing he was visibly concerned. He could see the baby's hand and it was extremely swollen. He told me he would give me one more round and I pushed with all my might... but nothing.
You could feel the anxiety in the room, the c-section was looming, and it looked like despite all of our work over the past 13 hours it was going to be inevitable, but I wasn't ready to give up. I immediately felt the immense need to push again and kept saying, "I need to push, can I please push!" The doctor and nurse didn't hear me but my mom, who was right by my side, heard my desperation, and with hopeful but concerned eyes told me to push. I bore down and pushed with all my might and immediately the baby's little arm popped right out. I heard the doctor say, "well we are totally committed now." I was so excited but nervous because I knew if they couldn't get her through the birth canal there would be some major problems.
Doctor Foster told me to push again and with that one push our little miracle arrived. She had her umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and chest several times and that is what had held her hand on top of her head. It was the most amazing experience to finally hold her in my arms, to see her, to feel her, to have her... safe.
I know her slow entrance into this world was "no accident." I know that the Lord was watching over both of us that day. Loving us, teaching us, caring for us.
Our sweet little Capri has been such a joy and a blessing. She brings so much peace and innocence to our home. Her brothers completely adore her. Beckam smothers her with constant kisses and Cade always has to know where she is so he can "protect" her. Her daddy is so in love with her. And me... well... she melts my heart.
How thankful I am for her safe arrival. For the lessons my Heavenly Father taught me in those 13 hours. For her sweet spirit. For the knowledge that I get to have her with me forever.
So the journey begins... I cannot wait!
Capri Susanne Nielson
November 1, 2010
* thank you to my dear friend Camille for spending the whole day with us and capturing these precious moments.